esprit de l'escalier

three headbands fine

Mon, 20 Nov 2006 04:13:24 GMT

I've been aello since I was seventeen and am currently twenty-two.

There is so much baggage bogging down this journal that I can't even look at it without getting annoyed, and that right there pretty much kills any desire to actually write in the fool thing.

I'm going to try again, see if I can express myself any better elsewhere. Since the rest of the world decided blogging was the coolest excuse for being histrionic, my affinity for it has kind of waned. Like, a lot. But I started up with the online diary thing for memory's sake and in the long run it doesn't matter one way or the other what anyone else's motives are.

Take two is happening over yonder at cruelbugle.

No, this one isn't going to be updated any longer; no, I'm not defriending anyone; no, I won't cry myself to sleep if no one follows me over to the other place. I need a fresh space to make my messy, self-important little mark, and I'll do that regardless.

So long, y'all.

snip-snip

Tue, 07 Feb 2006 21:48:59 GMT

I've been a little out of it lately, by which I mean swamped and contemplative. The f-list backlog is pretty intense, and I think it's time for a trim. If I remove you from my f-list, it's either because you haven't updated in ages or we've drifted apart in some way or another. If I defriend you and you'd prefer to keep reading me (for heaven knows what reason, but I'm as susceptible to flattery as the next person and won't pry), leave a comment saying so and I'll add you back.

i am so not winter born

Tue, 13 Dec 2005 04:39:37 GMT

I've discovered that Cherokee gender is a dangerous anomaly and that spraying a roach with disinfectant instead of Raid will probably kill it instead of just making it really, really clean.

Won't it?

*stares at cornice molding and waits for a jumbo germ-immune roach to come scuttling out*

La Actriz is bringing me cider. Ah, simple pleasures.

mocking time and staring at a wall

Mon, 03 Oct 2005 02:15:19 GMT

Swiped from chicgeekgirl.

Now that I actually have time to catch up on my homework, I'm going to do a

1. When you look at yourself in the mirror, what's the first thing you look at?: Eyes, and the dark circles perpetually surrounding them.

2. How much cash do you have on you?: Not enough.

3. What's a word that rhymes with "TEST"?: Best.

4. Favorite plant?: Lilacs.

5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone?: My light board operator.

6. What is your main ring tone on your cell phone?: Eh. The automatic one. I'm not a ringtone slave.

7. What shirt are you wearing?: A black "Bada Bing!" Little Italy T-shirt from ancorasteph.

8. What do you "label" yourself?: Stoically pedantic deviant.

9. Name the brand of your shoes you're currently wearing?: Slippers.

10. Bright or Dark Room?: Dim, please.

11. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you?: Something along the lines of "Fwee, I actually know who she is now." Also, she has a brain and a nifty button on her backpack.

12. Ever "spilled the beans"?: Aye.

13. What were you doing at midnight last night?: Being discreetly deviant.

14. What did your last text message you received on your cell phone say?: Something from the littlest Gorgon telling me how many tickets to reserve for the family.

15. Do you ever click on "Pop Ups" or Banners?: Nope, I have a life.

16. What's a saying that you say a lot?: Embarrassingly enough, I've been saying "crikey" a lot lately.

17. Who told you they loved you last?: I don't think I remember.

19. How Many Drugs Have You Done In The Past Three Days?: What's with the capitals? And none.

20. How many rolls of film do you need to get developed?: I'm digital, but I do have some ancient rolls in my dresser at home, probably from middle school. Doubt I'll do anything about that, though.

21. Favorite age you have been so far?: Nineteen was nice; twenty-one is looking okay.

22. Your worst enemy?: This paper I'm supposed to be writing.

23. What is your current desktop picture?: Kate Winslet photographed underwater.

24. What was the last thing you said to someone?: Probably something snarky to Bly.

25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to change a major regret?: Money.

26. Do you love/ like someone?: I could, but I shouldn't.

Mon, 21 Mar 2005 03:57:55 GMT

My Theatre History essay on realism is at least ten times longer than my roommate's.

Granted, this is because her paper consists of one word, but it still makes me feel just a little bit productive.

And then you have my second essay, which reads "Expressionism began as a reaction to realism. A lot of stuff began as a reaction to realism."

Earlier today, I read metaquotes and now I feel like submitting someone. You, make copious witty remarks and fight for my approval.

I have not written an entry of substance in ages. Does anyone hate me yet?

Tue, 08 Mar 2005 04:20:37 GMT

barbarian_qulan recently had the nifty idea of expanding her f-list's appreciation of obscure music. And now, because imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, 25 mp3s available for your listening pleasure:

1.) Nino Rota: "What is a Youth"

From Franco Zeffirelli's 1968 version of "Romeo and Juliet." This the song from the Capulet ball--personally, I like it a lot better than the one Baz picked for the modern R&J. I think I was the only one in my ninth-grade English class who actually enjoyed this song instead of snickering at the singer's tights...

2.) Amorphis: "Thousand Lakes"

Instrumental, and lovely. Amorphis is a Finnish heavy metal band, but you'd never be able to tell from this. This was the intro to Antigone earlier in the year, and when I hadn't gotten sick of it after sitting backstage day after day, I decided to look up the band.

3.) Hayseed Dixie: "Dream On"

Also instrumental, but with fiddles this time. A very well-done bluegrass version of Aerosmith's "Dream On."

4.) Carbon Leaf: "Mary Mac"

A sugar rush in mp3 form. Traditional Scottish folk song, spruced up and sped up. One of the band members plays an electric mandolin, for which I envy him greatly. More downloads here.

5.) Cocteau Twins: "Alice"

Ethereal and mildly operatic number by a post-punk Scottish band that's been around since the 80's. It's not easy to understand the lyrics, but they're sung so prettily I've never really cared. More downloads here.

6.) Malice Mizer: "Regret"

Also instrumental. It's got a gorgeous music-box sort of quality to it. Japanese goth band.

7.) Søs Fenger: "Inderst Inde"

Danish folk singer.

8.) Alix Olson: "Eve's Mouth"

A slam poet's take on some choice fairy tales and other stories. Red Riding Hood is bulimic, Cinderella's gay, and Rapunzel is the embodiment of teh angst. (And here I swore I would never, ever use the word teh. The thing about making this particular typo is that no one believes it anymore.)

9.) The Rankin Family: "Twin Fiddle Medley"

Yet another instrumental one. But. Fiddles!

10.) Gigi D'Agostino: "The Riddle"

Italian progressive-pop. I discovered this lad by chance during a high school orchestra trip to Maastricht. This one is somewhat futuristic, somewhat militant, and somewhat techno-ish, with intriguing lyrics that may or may not make sense.

11.) Jaguares: "La Vida no es Igual"

Mexican rock. Not your typical mainstream poppy Latin music.

12.) Hannah Fury: "The Necklace of Marie Antoinette"

So this is the wench who wrote half a dozen songs based on Wicked, although this isn't one of them. Her work is unfailingly original, haunting, and altogether beautiful.

13.) Tony Vincent: "Heaven on Their Minds"

The bootleg of the bunch. Tony Vincent was Simon in the 2000 Jesus Christ Superstar video. Here, he's moved on to Judas. Pay attention to the way he sings "please" towards the end; you'll know it when it comes up. I tend to listen to that bit over and over before actually finishing the song.

14.) Old Blind Dogs: "The Cruel Sister"

Blokes with Scottish accents singing the Scottish version of an old ballad: girl pushes her sister into the sea, minstrels find her body and make a harp out of it, etc. More here.

15.) Rasputina: "Herb Girls of Birkenau"

So I have a thing for wenches who wear corsets and play cellos. Granted, there aren't many, but they're always worth a listen.

16.) Alka Yagnik, Sonu Nigam: "Ishq Kamina"

Hindi dance music from the movie Shakti.

17.) Solas: The Wind that Shakes the Barley

Irish-American band that has it all. Karan Casey, the lead singer, has one of the most amazing and distinctive voices I know of.

18.)Abigail Doyle: "Kindle My Heart"

From A Little Princess, of which I was once excessively fond.

19.) Loreena McKennitt: "The Stolen Child"

Loreena helped kick off my Celtic music obsession. Yeats was my first real poetry obsession. It's a nice combination.

20.) Pankaj Udhas: "Na Kajre Ki Dhaar"

More Hindi music, this time from the movie Mohra.

21.) Rasputin the Musical: "Peasant Dance

Because I had to post something from Rasputin: The Musical. Or maybe I should have uploaded the drag number from Killing Rasputin... at any rate, fun revelry piece.

22.) Noe Venable: "Alcina's Things

Contemporary alternative/folk music. Really lovely stuff.

23.) Emilie Autumn: "By the Sword"

Goth violinist. A surprisingly edgy combination.

24.) Zeljko Samardzic: "Sve Je Moje Tvoje"

Serbian pop. I know very little about it, but I like it.

25.) Marat/Sade: "Homage to Marat"

The first number from the Royal Shakespeare Company's production of Peter Weiss's The Persecution and Assassination of Jean-Paul Marat as Performed by the Inmates of the Asylum of Charenton Under the Direction of the Marquis de Sade. For anyone who's ever wondered what the heck my "laurel shortage" away message is about.

Lyrics:
Four years after the revolution and the old king's execution
Four years after I remember how those courtiers took their final vow
String up every aristocrat
Out with the priests Let them live on their fat
Four years after we started fighting
Marat keeps on with his writing
Four years after the Bastille fell
He still recalls the old battle yell
Down with all of the ruling class
Throw all the generals out on their arse

Long live the revolution!
Marat, we won't dig our own bloody graves
Marat, we've got to be clothed and fed
Marat, we're sick of working like slaves
Marat we've got to have cheaper bread

We crown you with these leaves, Marat
Because of the laurel shortage
The laurels all went to decorate academics, generals, and heads of state
And their heads are enormous

Good old Marat by your side we'll stand or fall
You're the only one that we can trust at all

Don't scratch your scabs or they'll never get any better

Four years he fought and he fought unafraid
Sniffing down traitors by traitors betrayed
Marat in the courtroom Marat underground
Sometimes the otter and sometimes the hound
Fight ing all the gentry and fighting every priest
Businessman the bourgeois the military beast
Marat always ready to stifle every scheme
of the sons of the arse licking dying regime
We've got new generals our leaders are new
They sit and they argue and all that they do
Is sell their own colleagues and ride upon their backs
And jail them and break them and give them all the axe
Screaming in language that no one understands
Of the rights that we grabbed with our own bleeding hands
When we wiped out the bosses and stormed through the wall
Of the prison they told us would outlast us all
Marat we're poor
And the poor stay poor
Marat don't make
Us wait anymore
We want our rights and we don't care how
We want our revolution now

That took way too much time.

Thu, 28 Oct 2004 06:58:06 GMT

I don't know if it was the eclipse or the World Series, both of which I forgot entirely, but there was a crowd out at the fountain howling at the moon, or so it sounded. I'm of the opinion that the powers that be decided everyone was awake by then anyway, and therefore decided they might as well pull a one AM fire drill on us.

I was still up, working on making scenery for my scale model of the stage. And now I'm done.

Bed.

Tue, 10 Aug 2004 02:35:43 GMT

The hell?

Tue, 06 Jul 2004 00:13:42 GMT

In honor of World Blog Haiku Day, I give you...

Spider-Man 2 thoughts in haiku:

Aunt May is lovely.
Who needs silly Mary Jane?
She lacks umbrellas.

M.J.: true redhead?
Who cares? But we came too close
To finding that out.

And while on that note...
titanium or cotton,
please get her a bra.

The showdown on the
side of the building was odd
...and very Disney

Emperor's New Groove,
to be precise. I was just
waiting for Aunt May

To turn into a
purple kitten, plunge to earth,
and bounce off of a

Giant trampoline.
And Tobey does sometimes look
like a dazed llama.

So that was quite strange.
And Tevye the octopus?
Don't get me started.

But imagine the
"If I Were a Rich Man" dance
done with six arms. Ack.

Thu, 29 Apr 2004 20:15:05 GMT

For anyone who isn't on the Equality Virginia mailing list or hasn't seen penknife's journal...

This makes me want to scream.

Because lately it seems as if it's all I can do.

Fri, 23 Apr 2004 19:46:33 GMT

Well, nice.

The other two FMLA officers and I made the campus newspaper's front page.

Unexpected, that, and I'm not overly fond of the picture (the photographer taped March for Women's Lives fliers all over us and then shot picture after picture while lying on the floor; we all look very intimidating and mildly like postmodern samurai, but you also get a great view of everyone's nostrils), but coverage it is, and how.

I've slept maybe five hours in the last two days. aighearfitheach, upon being told so, tilted his head and announced, "I think you win a prize or something."

If only. Two more big papers to write, also massive note-taking and note-card making, and one more painting to do.

Not to mention the March is on Sunday and the bus station nearly gave me a heart attack when they said there was nothing reserved for us.

So for possibly the first time in my life I got assertive over the phone, as I certainly didn't hallucinate calling the place multiple times over a month ago to reserve one (and then calling back a couple weeks later, just to be sure it was still reserved), so now we really do have one. For twenty dollars less than the normal price, even. I'm chuffed and fatigued at the same time.

Wrote my anthro research paper last night, between lie-downs and Diet Mountain Dews. It wasn't a very good tactic, as I would write, zone in bed for half an hour, then go back to write more and often find myself blinking at what I'd written before. I had a very nice few lines regarding an altar in Copan, but upon returning to my laptop I was very confused by them, as the paper was about a stela. If the prof finds my paper to be as confusing as I think it just might be, I'll drop out of school.

Or ace the final. I'm holding a decent average in that class, and I'd like either to keep it or ascend.

So I started out the day wearing a very nice skirt and a glazed expression. Unfortunately, the skirt was considerably less glazed. As I refuse to become one of those girls who nances around with their thighs clearly outlined through the fabric, I need to sew in a slip layer. This is what comes of shopping at Delia's warehouse events.

Off to give myself a break to read Lili and watch the X-Files now. A very happy birthday to the splendid broadwaybabe86, and happy prom night to all who are so inclined.

Mon, 19 Apr 2004 02:32:43 GMT

A pet peeve: anonymous reviewers who ask questions.

Dears, I'd love to give you answers, but it's hard when I don't have any contact information.

Fri, 02 Apr 2004 04:06:53 GMT

Neurotics are no fun to fool.

I'm reading Anil's Ghost for pleasure, which I have no time at all for, and trying not to notice that the room still smells like cream cheese. Yes, my roommate is a domestic goddess of the highest order, but I'm too much of a heathen to appreciate all the glory it entails.

Napped through soc and dreamed I was an extra in the film version of Tipping the Velvet, which was for some reason being shot in my old backyard (complete with sandbox and tire swing).

If I keep having these coughing fits, I think I may very well develop a six-pack. On the other hand, if I don't, I might actually be able to get a good night's sleep and not sound like a toad when I talk.

The lit mag is out, and it's all poetry. Mostly mediocre poetry, at that. I normally don't consider myself a grammar Nazi, but these things bring out the worst in me.

The theatre season for next year includes Godspell and Anouilh's Antigone. Set design for the former promises to be marvelous, and I might actually break down and audition for the latter. Just a bit part, like part of the chorus, or maybe Ismene. I've got a soft spot for the spineless sisters of Greek drama queens.

Thu, 01 Apr 2004 04:03:52 GMT

The campus Republicans are having an animal rights barbecue. No vegetarian options.

I really wish someone would explain this to me.

Tue, 30 Mar 2004 04:36:48 GMT

For no reason whatsoever, I was recalling a poem I had in my English workbook when I was in, I think, second grade.

On an impulse,I googled it and lo! there it was! Not the deepest thing in the world, but not at all without merit.

Feelings about Words

Some words clink,
As ice in a drink.
Some move with grace:
A dance, a lace.
Some sound thin:
Wail, scream and pin.
Some words are squat:
A mug, a pot,
And some are plump,
Fat, round and dump.
Some words are light:
Drift, lift and bright.
A few are small:
A, is and all.
And some are thick,
Glue, paste and brick.
Some words are sad:
"I never had . . . "
And others gay:
Joy, spin and play.
Some words are sick:
Stab, scratch and nick.
Some words are hot:
Fire, flame and shot.
Some words are sharp,
sword, point and carp.
And some alert:
Glint, glance and flirt.
Some words are lazy:
Saunter, hazy.
And some words preen:
Pride, pomp and queen.
Some words are quick,
A jerk, a flick.
Some words are slow:
Lag, stop and grow,
While others poke
As ox with yoke.
Some words can fly --
There's wind, there's high;
And some words cry:
"Goodbye . . .
Goodbye . . ."

Sun, 28 Mar 2004 16:02:26 GMT

To the three people to whom I owe betas: I apologize for the delay and will send everything out today.

(I am Sir Reginald, Duke of Chutney. And don’t stick your tongue out at me, kid.)

Sat, 27 Mar 2004 22:38:02 GMT

It's official: my IB Spanish credits did not transfer. I can take the placement test and try and get credit that way, but it won't be nearly as promising an option as it was at the beginning of freshman year, when Spanish was still fresh in my mind.

Talked to Mao, which was very nice. She asked if everything was all right and I thought I was going to cry.

I don't want to think about everything I need to do, but there's no helping it. Besides, it leaves me less time to cringe over what I should have done.

make like a tree...

Thu, 18 Mar 2004 04:35:21 GMT

Someone down the hall is playing the Boondocks Saints soundtrack and I've been sitting here for several minutes staring at a page of Much Ado About Nothing and trying to figure out where I've heard that music before.

Didn't care for the movie, no matter how blatant the subtext. Closerthanthis Irish twins, complete with accents and tattoos, and yet...no.

Also, I've never been able to determine why Shakespeare wasted his time writing MAAN. The thing lives up to its name, and I promise I'm not saying this because I had to watch it three dozen times from the wings over the summer.

It is, however, extremely entertaining watching fight scenes through a doorway. Not everything is within view, so all one hears are shouts and grunts, and then occasionally someone comes flying past the doorway. Abstract, almost.

I need to pay for next year's housing. I also need a job. Does anyone else think there just is not enough time in the day?

before I go study myself into a stupor...

Thu, 18 Mar 2004 02:56:45 GMT

Swiped from rex_dart:

Pick a couple of things from my interests list that confuse you - whether you don't know what they are, or you want to know why the hell I'm interested in them. Then I come back here later and enlighten you!

Fri, 12 Mar 2004 03:06:55 GMT

Finished the Popol Vuh.

Hunahpu/Xbalanque OTP!!1

Because who doesn't like mythical Mesoamerican twincest?

Purloined from mhari: Go to Google and do an image search of your username, then post the first picture it gives you. Then list all interests on your userinfo page beginning with the same letter as the username of the person you swiped the meme from.

Look, Amazons, even though Aello was one of the Harpies.

M interests are: Marat/Sade [the show, not the pairing], Mary Jane Lamond, Millais, Miranda Otto, Miranda Richardson, Moliere, Molly Grue, Moulin Rouge, Mozart, musicals, and mythology.

Right-o, studying...

Fri, 12 Mar 2004 02:42:06 GMT

My brother pierced his ear.

As in, with a safety pin.

Through cartilage.

Ouch. The idiot.

He claimed it shouldn't bother me because of my tongue. I pointed out I was smart enough to have that pierced by a professional. He muttered and changed the subject.

If the whole thing falls off in his sleep, I may just bite my infernal tongue off to keep from uttering a hearty, "I told you so!"

Wed, 10 Mar 2004 19:34:54 GMT

Met with both advisors today. Will (probably) not take nineteen credits next fall.

Must see registrar. Apparently my high school credits from Spanish and anthro still have not carried over. As I scored high enough on the IB exams, they had bloody well better. I left off on it last year because I thought the paperwork needed to be shuffled around some and then everyone would come to their senses. Then, beginning of the year, I was told I didn't need to take any placement tests because I'd tested out of all foreign language requirements.

The little Gorgon, who has more common sense than I, is not going for the full IB diploma. Good lad. Plenty of time later in life to stress yourself senseless.

I don't regret going the masochistic route. The classes were rigorous and informative, although they instilled very few true-life values in students. Logarithms, lab reports, thirty-page term papers? Fine. Filing taxes, surviving phone interviews, actually talking to people? Eep.

After a time, one became so buried in the books it just didn't seem worth the effort to interact with non-IBers. That, I do regret.

Fri, 05 Mar 2004 18:09:11 GMT

Whenever I send an email to a person of importance, I always expect them to reply by informing me how stupid I am.

(Sir, could you possibly recommend a recipe for kumquat souffle?)

(Of course not, you dimwitted concoction of idiocy. Don't ever talk to me again.)

Entirely irrational, but a bad habit all the same. So when the Feminist Majority contact actually seemed happy to hear from me, I was incredibly surprised.

Only...she wants me to call her, and I have no voice. Choke.

Wed, 03 Mar 2004 14:38:55 GMT

Happy Birthday, gamesiplay!

Tue, 02 Mar 2004 22:49:36 GMT

Arlington, Virginia; The Executive Board of the American Anthropological Association, the world's largest organization of anthropologists, the people who study culture, releases the following statement in response to President Bush's call for a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage as a threat to civilization.

"The results of more than a century of anthropological research on households, kinship relationships, and families, across cultures and through time, provide no support whatsoever for the view that either civilization or viable social orders depend upon marriage as an exclusively heterosexual institution. Rather, anthropological research supports the conclusion that a vast array of family types, including families built upon same-sex partnerships, can contribute to stable and humane societies.

The Executive Board of the American Anthropological Association strongly opposes a constitutional amendment limiting marriage to heterosexual couples."

As both a Virginian and an anthro major, this pleases me.